What Do I Focus On After My Divorce?... the Post-Divorce Growth Cycle

When you are in the final days of your marriage (or maybe for you, it stretched into years) you can feel like the divorce is the end of everything stable and good in your life.  This can be true even if you were the one who wanted the divorce and your current marriage was unbearably toxic.  There is just a lot of fear and anxiety about what’s on the other side of marriage.  And after the shock and grief wear off, the overwhelm creeps in.  

Women often find they get stuck in the overwhelm.  This isn’t surprising because when your entire life has shifted off of its foundation, where do you even begin to do the work of putting it back together? 

What every woman needs, and doesn’t always get, is a lifeline out of the fear, overwhelm and hopelessness that they will never feel happy about their lives again. 

Our proven framework, the Post Divorce Growth Cycle is that lifeline. It provides the roadmap and gives a structure and direction to help reach the “other side” of divorce.  

The Post Divorce Growth Cycle gives you a tangible, step-by-step, holistic guide to follow that will heal you from the inside out.

We have witnessed it over and over again, as the healing process begins, you start to see a glimmer of hope in your future.  If you aren’t there yet, just know that it’s coming.  Once you start to believe that there is life after divorce and you recognize that you are ready for that, you want it NOW! You don’t want this recovery process to drag out for years.

The first bit of good news is that it doesn’t have to take years to start feeling better. You just need to understand the 4 main areas in your life that need your attention.

The second bit of good news is that you don’t have to become an expert in any of these areas to start feeling better today.  Taking even small steps in any of these four areas also boosts the other areas of your life as well.  

What we have learned from coaching thousands of divorced women is that most women focus on one major area they want to improve believing that once they “fix” that area, everything else will fall into place.  And when that doesn’t happen, they get frustrated, exhausted and remain stuck.  The reality is that, in order to accelerate healing so that you can begin living a life that you wake up excited about you need to focus on four areas.  And you need to focus on all four of the areas, not one or two of them.  Those areas are: Identity, Self Care, Money and Relationships. These four areas are the foundation of the PDGC.

Divorce isn't the end of all the good things in your life; it's a new beginning. After the ink dries on your divorce papers and your tsunami of emotions has begun to settle, your recovery begins.  Everyone is telling you it’s time to ‘move on’ with your life.

But how?

Maybe your finances are a mess.  Or you’ve lost all sense of who you are and you don’t even remember what you like to do for fun!  It’s possible your confidence is shattered and your sense of self-worth feels a little shaky.  And forget dating - you’ve lost all confidence in your ability to pick the right partner.  In fact, divorce might have taken a toll on lots of your relationships as you transition from being a ‘couple’ to being single.  Not all your friends and family are handling your divorce with grace and support.

So where do you focus your efforts after divorce?

Our framework, the Post Divorce Growth Cycle, is your roadmap to rediscovery, growth, and happiness. 

Imagine we are sitting down together, maybe sharing a cup of tea, and we talk about how your post-divorce journey isn’t a straight path where any misstep can stop you in your tracks.  Instead, it’s a continuous cycle of learning and growing.

The PDGC is a flexible framework that adapts to where you are now and where you want to focus your energy - whether you're exploring your identity, figuring out your finances, exploring healthy relationships, or trying to (finally) squeeze in more self-care. We know that a holistic approach to life after divorce is the answer. Small steps in any area of the PDGC work to shift you from confusion about what’s next to a sense of peace that you can figure it out.

The Post Divorce Growth Cycle is a tangible roadmap that you can jump into at any point and follow each next step without constantly feeling overwhelmed and second guessing yourself.  It gives you a clear, concise path to follow that enables you to heal and create your next, beautiful chapter.

Let’s explore each of the 4 phases of the Post Divorce Growth Cycle

Identity: The Catalyst for Change

Identity is all about rediscovering who you are now that you're no longer part of a couple.  Work here provides an opportunity to examine your values and ask if you are living a life that’s aligned with those values.  It’s a good time to set new goals, revisit old passions, sink into your authentic self, and remember the little things in life that make you…you.

Self-Care: A Foundation for Boundaries

Self-care is the cornerstone of the Post Divorce Growth Cycle. It's more than spa days; it's about understanding your self-worth and being your number one fan.It is exploring where your limiting beliefs about yourself are holding you back. As you enhance your self-care practices, you'll notice an incredible shift in your ability to create and maintain boundaries. These boundaries protect your emotional well-being, demonstrate to your circle and the world how you expect to be treated based on your self-respect, and reduce conflict and stress in your life.

Money: Financial Confidence for Life

Taking charge of your personal finances is a significant outcome of the PDGC. If you’ve spent your life dreading talking about and managing money then you are perfectly normal.  And now is the time to build an easy, confident relationship with all things money.  As you shift into this new, better money energy, you're not just securing your financial future; you're gaining the confidence to prioritize your own well-being in all aspects of your life.

Healthy Relationships: Trusting and Thriving

Nurturing healthy relationships might be the scariest phase of the PDGC. But, as you cultivate trust in yourself, you'll naturally extend that trust to others. Improved relationships with family, friends, and potential partners emerge organically. You may find you are ready to fall in love again.  Or you may realize that having this time to devote to YOU is exactly what you crave.

The beauty of the PDGC is the tangible, real-world results it offers. Picture yourself confidently asking for a promotion, declining social events that don't align with your values and desires, feeling exhilarated to launch a business or move to a new city, dating high quality partners OR completely enjoying+ your singleness and purchasing your dream home.  These aren't abstract dreams; these are the life-changing outcomes of the PDGC.

The Post Divorce Growth Cycle isn't about jargon or rigid programs; it's an ongoing, adaptive cycle of continuous growth. It's a conversation with a friend over tea, where the focus is on your personal growth and your vision for the future. You'll achieve results that go far beyond buzzwords, equipping you with the confidence and strength to embrace your new, exciting life after divorce. The PDGC is where the journey begins, and the possibilities are limitless.

If you are struggling to move forward, or just don’t want to take this journey alone, we invite you to schedule a free 15-minute call with Carolyn or Mimi. We are happy to share what resources we have available to meet you where you are right now in your divorce journey.