Post-Divorce Checklist For Women

Here you are at what feels like the final steps of a long, arduous marathon of decisions, negotiations, and compromises. You are probably ready to either crawl into bed and sleep for a month or pull out your little black dress, gather your girlfriends, and dance the night away.

 Either option is totally fine.

 Taking care of yourself is definitely going to be on the checklist.  But, before you put the divorce in your rearview mirror, you want to make sure you’ve wrapped everything up neatly…and put a bow on it.

 Your lawyer likely provided you with their version of a guide or checklist, but we think there’s more than just the legal and financial aspects to consider. That’s why we’ve put together this Post Divorce Checklist For Women – we want you to step into your next chapter with confidence and excitement for what’s next.

 We’ve broken the checklist into four areas and included the top actions you should take in each area. Click here for a printable version that will help you keep track of the progress you’ve made.

As you work through these checklists, you might find that you’ve already taken care of some of the items. Great! This is a good time to make sure everything was filed correctly, addresses were updated and all the i's were dotted and t’s were crossed.

 Your Post-Divorce Identity Checklist

1. Change your passwords, pins, and login information for everything - even if your ex never accessed it. Make sure to use passwords that don’t fit your normal password protocol.
   
2. Even if the divorce was friendly, blocking your ex on your phone, email and social media might be a good idea - at least for a little while. If the divorce wasn’t friendly, absolutely block your ex. Going ‘no contact’, until you are completely over the breakup, is good for your emotional health and physical safety.
   
3. Secure your home. If you kept the marital home, change the locks and reprogram the garage door opener.
   
4. You might have changed your name as part of the divorce process or it might still be on your ‘to do’ list. That’s just the beginning! You will be stunned by how many places you will need to change your name. Everywhere from the obvious, the Social Security Administration and DMV, to the not-so-obvious, your streaming service and neighborhood HOA. This downloadable checklist has a more comprehensive list of where you’ll want to change your name.
   
5. While it’s tempting to want to file this away immediately, it’s good to sit down with the final copy of your divorce decree and review it thoroughly. You want to know exactly what your responsibilities (and rights) are now that everything is signed.

 Your Post-Divorce Self Care Checklist

1. Dive into your mindfulness practice. And if you don’t have one, this is a great time to explore what might work for you. You can try tapping, journaling, or uncover a new form of meditation.
   
2. Take care of your physical health. This is a great time to find out what all the fuss is about the Mediterranean Diet or try more vegetarian recipes. You can add fun into your exercise routine by taking up pickle ball or signing up for belly dancing lessons. And if sleep has been an issue, now’s the time to learn how to get all your zzzz’s.
   
3. Ask for help! In my experience, this is the hardest thing to do. I felt so exposed and was still trying to do everything I could to protect my daughters. It was hard to admit I needed help. But, once I reached out to the people I trusted, it was like a huge weight lifting off my shoulders. It’s critical to find a support system. Just having someone help with carpool or point you towards a trusted handyman can make a world of difference in your mental health.
   
4. If you need professional help, reach out and find someone you trust . Even if you initiated it, divorce is a huge life upheaval. You don’t have to do this alone.

 Your Post-Divorce Financial Checklist

1. If you and your ex still have any joint bank accounts or credit cards, you need to close them and open new ones in your name only.
   
2. Your financial situation has changed. If you always managed the family spending you might easily transition into your financial situation. If this is the first time you’ve taken a hard look at your personal financial situation, be patient with yourself. Either way, now is the time to get super clear on your monthly expenses, your monthly income, your investment portfolio and the state of your emergency savings. You are responsible for your financial security - and you can handle it.
   
3. Make sure you have all the insurance you need (health, life, car, etc) and that your beneficiaries are updated. 
   
4. Figure out your tax situation. Review your tax withholdings as you might need to update your W-4. Confirm if you need to file jointly this year. If not, clarify who is claiming any dependents and if you can file as head of household. If you are getting or paying alimony, understand how that impacts your taxes.
   
5. Understand how retirement plans were divided. If QDROs (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) were created, make sure you know how they work. Review your complete retirement plan. This is not something you can put off. Knowing where you stand today, even if you’re not going to like it, is the only way to put together a realistic plan for the future.
   
6. You may need to set up or revise your will or trust to reflect your new status. This does not happen automatically. You want to pay special attention to medical directives and who will speak for you if you cannot make health-related decisions for yourself.

 Your Post-Divorce Relationship Checklist

1. If children are involved, develop a structured co-parenting plan that covers schedules, responsibilities, decision-making processes, and conflict resolution strategies to ensure consistency and stability for your children. Avoid talking negatively about your ex in front of the children or mutual acquaintances to maintain a healthy environment for everyone. Be sensitive to the need for your child to maintain a positive relationship to their larger family.
   
2. Holidays will change. Now is a great time to think about what traditions to carry into this next chapter and where it’s possible to establish new traditions.
   
3. Don’t rush into dating! This is a time for healing and self-discovery. Take a moment to think about what you truly want in a partner and a relationship before diving back into the dating scene. You want to avoid falling into a rebound situation to try and mask emotional pain rather than forming a genuine, healthy connection.
   
4. Connections with your family and friends may have been strained or strengthened during the divorce process. Take an honest look at the people you have in your life - it’s OK to limit time spent with those people that don’t support your goals.
   
5. Establish clear boundaries with your ex. Now is the time to define and agree on boundaries concerning communication, personal space and parenting responsibilities. As mentioned above, it’s absolutely appropriate to block your ex on your social media accounts and your phone. You can set up a filter in your email to direct that communication to a folder so you can read them on your timeline.

 As you move forward, remember that rebuilding after divorce is not just about crossing off tasks from a checklist; it's about creating a life that feels authentically yours. Every completed item is a step toward independence and a future filled with potential. Take your time, honor your journey, and embrace the changes with an open heart and mind. Download this checklist to help stay focused and on track.

 In my personal experience, I found the year after my divorce to be one of deep personal reflection and self-discovery.  Never in my life had I devoted so much time to figure out who I was and what I truly wanted in my life. My marriage ended just as I was facing becoming an empty nester and I was scared. My finances were a mess. My sense of self was a total state of confusion. I felt that all my best days were behind me. 

 Boy, was I wrong. Taking the time to invest in myself has been an amazing gift of divorce. I want the same thing for you!

Use this checklist to help with your healing journey and ensure you leave any lingering divorce tasks (and vibes!) behind you.