The Myths of Work-Life Balance for Divorced Women—And What You Really Need

What if balance wasn’t something you had to chase? What if it was already there, just waiting for you to claim it? Picture this: You wake up in the morning feeling steady, calm, and clear. Your time feels like yours again. You’ve carved out space—not just to get through your to-do list, but to breathe deeply, to feel present, to enjoy your life.

For so many women, this idea of work-life balance feels like a mirage. And we know that divorce amplifies all the emotions, insecurities and limiting beliefs we may have as a woman in the world today. Often, we think that if we could just get it together—manage our schedules better, take on less, do more—we’d finally get that elusive balance. But here’s the truth: it’s not about doing more, and it’s definitely not about being perfect.

Balance is about finding your own personal rhythm. Are you thinking, “what does that even mean?”. I get it, those types of phrases felt foreign to me as I started to rebuild my life after divorce. I had never done the type of personal development work that is necessary to understand what I really wanted in life. That meant, I was spending my life following the expectations of my upbringing, the social circles I was in and the constraints that society as a whole was expecting. There was no way I was going to find ‘balance’ because everything I was doing was for someone else.

So, getting back to finding your personal rhythm….it’s about tuning in to what matters most to you and letting go of the rest. In this blog, we’re going to explore why work-life balance feels so out of reach after divorce and what’s really missing when you’re struggling to find it.

You’ll also discover some simple, powerful ways to reclaim your time, honor your needs, and start living a life that feels both fulfilling and aligned with who you are now. Because the truth is—you don’t have to just survive the day-to-day. You deserve more. You deserve space to thrive, recharge, and step into the life you’re creating with intention and ease.

Let’s dive in together and take that first step toward reclaiming your balance.

The Root of the Struggle – Why Is Balance So Hard to Find?

Finding balance after divorce can feel like trying to find your footing on uneven ground. One day, you’re managing it all, and the next, you’re wondering why everything feels so overwhelming. It’s like you’re constantly juggling new roles, responsibilities, and emotions, and no matter how hard you try, it never quite feels steady. Oof that hits hard!

The truth is, the struggle to find balance runs deeper than just organizing your time better. It’s about so much more than scheduling and checklists. It’s all the experiences and it touches every part of your life—your emotions, your identity, your sense of security. 

Let’s get into understanding the top 4 reasons why balance is hard.

1. Emotional Recovery Takes Center Stage

Divorce is an emotional earthquake. Whether it was amicable or not, it shakes the foundation of the life you thought you’d have, the roles you were comfortable in, and the future you envisioned. That kind of emotional weight doesn’t just disappear. It lingers. It takes up space—often more space than you realize.

Many women throw themselves into work or parenting as a way to avoid sitting with the difficult feelings. And that makes sense. But this coping mechanism can leave you running on empty. You’re in survival mode, just trying to keep it together. In that state, balance feels like a distant dream. It’s hard to focus on thriving when you’re just getting through the day.

2. New Responsibilities Can Be Overwhelming

When you were married, even if things didn’t always feel balanced, there were still shared responsibilities. Even if your marriage wasn’t 50/50, you probably weren’t carrying the entire load. But now? Everything is on you - and more. You’re managing the household, raising kids, co-parenting, handling finances, navigating your career, all the things. It’s like life hit fast-forward and you’re struggling to keep pace.

That mental load—the constant organizing, planning, and problem-solving—can be exhausting. It’s not just about doing the tasks; it’s about always being on. And this feeling of “I can’t get a break” can make balance feel unattainable, something other people might manage, but not you. When there’s so much on your plate, finding time for yourself can feel like a luxury you can’t afford.

3. The Struggle with Boundaries

After divorce, boundaries can feel like the hardest thing in the world to set. You may feel this need to prove you can handle everything—whether it’s at work, with your kids, or with friends and family. The pressure to please everyone and to keep all the plates spinning can lead to burnout faster than you realize.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of saying “yes” to everything, often out of guilt or fear of disappointing others. But here’s the thing—saying “yes” too much is often saying “no” to yourself. And that leaves little room for balance. After a divorce, it’s easy to overcompensate, wanting to show the world (and yourself) that you’ve got it all under control. But what if balance wasn’t about proving anything? What if it was about protecting your well-being first?

4. Redefining Who You Are

Divorce doesn’t just change your relationship status—it often changes how you see yourself. The identity you had as a wife, a partner, or even a family unit has shifted, and that can feel disorienting. It’s like being handed a blank canvas when you weren’t prepared to paint a new picture. Who are you now? What matters to you? What kind of life do you want to create moving forward?

Without this clarity, it’s easy to keep pouring your energy into things that may not even align with your values anymore. You’re trying to find balance, but how can you balance things when you don’t yet know what truly matters to you in this new chapter of your life? Rediscovering yourself is a process, and until you do, balance can feel like an unreachable goal.

What’s Missing in the Quest for Balance?

Now that we’ve explored why balance feels so elusive after divorce—because of the emotional toll, new responsibilities, and shifting identities—let’s talk about what’s really missing when balance seems impossible to achieve. It’s not about having a perfectly organized calendar or magically gaining more hours in the day. Balance goes deeper than that. If you’re struggling to find it, it’s often because key pieces of the puzzle are missing. Let’s take a look at what those are.

1. Clarity on Priorities

One of the biggest reasons balance feels so hard to achieve is because there’s no clear direction on what matters most to you right now. Divorce shakes up everything—your relationships, your identity, even your daily routines. The priorities you had before? They might not even feel relevant anymore. But without taking time to redefine what’s important to you, you can end up trying to juggle everything, never really knowing where to focus.

When everything feels urgent, it’s easy to lose sight of what brings you joy or fulfillment. You might find yourself giving energy to things that don’t truly serve you, simply because you haven’t paused to ask yourself, What do I actually want? Finding balance begins with getting crystal clear on your priorities—so you can focus your time and energy in ways that nourish you.

2. Space for Self-Care and Rest

Self-care often gets pushed to the bottom of the list, especially when life feels overwhelming. But here’s the truth: without making space for rest and replenishment, balance will always feel out of reach. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Yet many divorced women feel guilty for prioritizing their own needs over their responsibilities.

Here’s the shift: Rest and self-care aren’t indulgent. They’re essential. Balance isn’t just about managing your time; it’s about managing your energy. If you’re constantly running on fumes, trying to be everything for everyone, you’ll never feel like you have control over your life. What’s often missing is giving yourself permission to rest, to take time for yourself without feeling like you’re letting anyone down.

3. Connection to Your Authentic Self

Divorce can leave you feeling unmoored, disconnected from the person you used to be—or the person you want to become. After years of playing certain roles—whether it was wife, mother, or partner—it can be hard to remember what makes you you. And when you’re not connected to your authentic self, how can you possibly find balance?

What’s often missing is that sense of grounding—that inner connection to what makes you come alive, what lights you up, what your dreams are now. Without this connection, it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle of daily tasks and demands, feeling like you’re just going through the motions. Rebuilding that connection to yourself is key to finding balance and creating a life that feels full and whole.

Authentic Self is one of the phases of the Post Divorce Growth Cycle. Click here to learn how this cycle is key to rebuilding your life after divorce

4. Permission to Let Go of Perfection

Another big piece missing? Permission to let go of the idea that balance means doing everything perfectly. So many women fall into the trap of thinking that if they could just organize better, plan more efficiently, or work harder, balance would magically appear. But life doesn’t work that way.

Balance isn’t about perfection. It’s about making choices that honor your well-being, even if that means letting some things go. What’s missing for many women is the ability to release the pressure to be perfect and give themselves grace. You don’t need to have it all figured out to find peace. In fact, letting go of the need to be perfect might be the very thing that opens up space for the harmony you’ve been craving.

5. A Support System

Finally, one of the most common things missing is a solid support system. Trying to do it all alone? That’s one of the biggest obstacles to finding balance. After divorce, it’s easy to feel like you’re isolated, like you have to prove you can manage everything on your own. But here’s the truth: Balance is so much easier to achieve when you have people in your corner—whether that’s friends, family, or a community of women who truly understand what you’re going through.

A lack of support can leave you carrying all the emotional and logistical weight by yourself. Finding balance means allowing yourself to lean on others, to ask for help, and to surround yourself with people who lift you up. A strong support system gives you the emotional and practical assistance you need to create more ease and flow in your life. You don’t have to do it alone—and you shouldn’t have to.

Common Myths About Work-Life Balance

When it comes to work-life balance, there’s no shortage of advice out there. But just as important as understanding what balance is, is knowing what it isn’t. So many women, especially after divorce, find themselves chasing an idealized version of balance that simply doesn’t exist—and that’s where the frustration begins. Let’s clear up some common myths about work-life balance so you can let go of unrealistic expectations and focus on what balance really looks like in this next chapter.

Myth #1: Balance Means Equal Time for Everything

One of the biggest misconceptions is that balance means giving equal time to all areas of your life—work, family, personal time, everything neatly divided into perfect little chunks. But life doesn’t work that way, especially after divorce. I had a mentor once tell me that she was a great parent, a great friend, a great employee and a great family member - but she couldn’t be great at all of them all the time. It was about focusing her ‘greatness’ where it was needed in the moment. That was over 20 years ago and it has stuck with me all this time.

There will be days when work demands more of you, and times when family needs your full attention. Balance isn’t about splitting your time evenly. It’s about being in tune with what matters most in the moment and shifting your energy there. Some days, balance might look like knocking out a work project; other days, it’s about taking time for yourself or being fully present with your kids. Flexibility is the key—not perfection.

Myth #2: Self-Care Is Selfish

How often have you heard that taking time for yourself is selfish? After divorce, it’s common to feel pulled in every direction—whether it’s being there for your kids, showing up at work, or taking care of family. It’s easy to feel guilty for wanting a break or time to just be with yourself.

But here’s the truth: Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you show up for others or meet the demands of your life? Balance means recognizing that your well-being is a priority. It’s about giving yourself permission to rest, recharge, and reconnect with who you are. The more you take care of yourself, the better you can take care of the people and responsibilities in your life.

Myth #3: Balance Is a One-Time Achievement

Many of us think that once we get everything just right, balance will settle in and stay. But balance isn’t a destination—it’s an ongoing process. It requires constant reassessment and adjustments as life shifts.

After divorce, life is full of transitions. Your work situation might change, your kids’ needs might evolve, and your priorities will likely shift over time. Balance isn’t something you achieve once and for all—it’s something you work toward every day, being adaptable as circumstances change. It’s about flowing with life, not trying to lock everything into place.

Myth #4: You Have to Do It All to Be Balanced

There’s a belief that to achieve balance, you need to be juggling everything—work, parenting, friendships, household duties—and still make time for yourself. This myth is a one-way ticket to burnout. No one can do it all, and the truth is, you don’t have to do it all to feel balanced.

Real balance is about letting go of what doesn’t serve you and focusing on what matters most. It’s about saying “no” when you need to, delegating tasks when possible, and allowing yourself the grace to let some things fall by the wayside. You don’t have to manage every aspect of life flawlessly to find balance. In fact, letting go of the pressure to do it all opens up space for what truly matters to you.

Myth #5: Balance Comes Naturally After Divorce

There’s a common misconception that after the emotional storm of divorce passes, balance will just naturally fall into place. Many women believe that once the dust settles, balance will simply arrive.

But balance takes intentional effort. It doesn’t just happen on its own. It’s easy to get swept up in life’s demands, especially when you’re rebuilding and navigating new responsibilities. Balance requires mindful choices—about how you spend your time, where you place your energy, and how you set boundaries. It’s about regularly checking in with yourself to make sure your life aligns with your values and your goals. It’s not automatic—but it is achievable with conscious effort.

The Steps to Regaining Balance

Now that we’ve explored why balance feels so elusive and let go of the myths that keep us stuck, let’s get to the good part! Let’s talk about how you can begin to reclaim that sense of balance. This isn’t just about managing your calendar or ticking boxes on your to-do list—it’s about reclaiming your energy, your time, and your sense of self in a way that feels deeply supportive as you move forward in this new chapter.

1. Reclaim Your Time

After divorce, time can feel like the most precious and elusive resource. Suddenly, it feels like everything is on your shoulders—work, family, the house, all of it. But balance begins with taking small, intentional steps to reclaim your time. Start by noticing the areas where you feel most overwhelmed and ask yourself: What can I let go of? What can I delegate?

Consider using time-blocking to create dedicated spaces in your day for different areas of your life—work, family, self-care. This simple tool can help prevent that feeling of overwhelm that comes from trying to do everything at once. And remember, building in time for yourself is just as important as any other obligation. Whether it’s 10 minutes of quiet meditation in the morning or a walk in the afternoon, schedule this personal time like it’s a non-negotiable meeting with yourself. Because it is.

2. Set Boundaries That Serve You

Boundaries are essential to maintaining balance. Without them, it’s all too easy for work to creep into your evenings, or for you to find yourself saying “yes” to too many things. Setting boundaries means learning to prioritize your needs without guilt.

Start by creating “non-negotiables”—things in your day that are protected fiercely. It could be dinner with your kids, your morning workout, or an hour to read before bed. Communicate these boundaries to the people around you so they know what you need. The more you honor and protect your energy, the easier it becomes to hold onto that sense of balance in your life.

3. Prioritize Self-Care Without Guilt

We’ve talked about it before, but it’s worth saying again—self-care is not a luxury. It’s a necessity. To find balance, you need to make space for activities that nourish you physically, emotionally, and mentally. Start small, with simple self-care practices that don’t require much time but make a big impact. A few deep breaths, a cup of tea in silence, or a quick stretch can be enough to bring you back to yourself.

The key here is consistency. Rather than waiting until you’re totally burned out to finally prioritize yourself, weave self-care into your daily routine. The more you take care of yourself along the way, the better you’ll be able to show up for everything else in your life.

4. Reconnect With Your Authentic Self

Balance is so much easier to find when you’re living in alignment with who you truly are. But after divorce, it’s common to feel disconnected from yourself. Take some time to reconnect. Ask yourself the big questions: What brings me joy? What are my true desires? What kind of life do I want to create?

Sometimes journaling or creative exercises can help you get back in touch with your authentic self. Allow yourself to dream again, even if it feels a little scary or uncertain at first. Once you know what you’re working toward, it becomes so much easier to prioritize what really matters—and let go of what doesn’t.

5. Build a Support Network

Here’s the thing—you don’t have to do this alone. Surround yourself with people who support your journey and truly understand what you’re going through. Whether it’s family, close friends, or a community of divorced women, having others to lean on can make all the difference.

Balance is so much easier to achieve when you have a team behind you, cheering you on and offering support when you need it. Lean on your network. Allow them to help carry some of the weight, and in return, you’ll find a little more space to breathe, to rest, and to reclaim your balance.

The Role of Community in Finding Balance

Balance isn’t something you’re meant to create all on your own. It thrives when we’re surrounded by others who understand our journey. After divorce, it’s so easy to feel isolated, like you’re carrying the weight of the world all by yourself. But the truth is, you don’t have to. In fact, having a community of women who have walked in your shoes can be the missing piece in your quest for balance.

Why Community Matters

There’s something truly magical about being surrounded by women who get it. Women who know what it’s like to rebuild after divorce, who are navigating the same emotional terrain. Community provides you with a safe space to share your challenges, to celebrate your victories, and to hear from others who have been right where you are.

In this space, you don’t have to carry the burden alone. The support and understanding of a like-minded group can be the lifeline you need—helping you find strength when you’re feeling uncertain and giving you the encouragement to keep moving forward. It reminds you that you’re not alone in this journey.

It’s impossible to stress the importance of finding a safe space to talk about what’s important to you, what dreams you want to chase and what challenges are keeping you from them.

How Community Can Help You Reclaim Balance

When you’re part of a community, you have a team behind you—helping you stay accountable to your goals, cheering you on, and reminding you that balance is possible. Whether it’s sharing tips on how to manage your time, offering emotional support, or simply being there to listen, a community can help you find balance faster and with more ease than trying to figure it all out on your own.

The women who join us at The Year You Want workshop find that these connections not only inspire them but also offer practical, real-life solutions to the challenges they face. When you tap into the collective wisdom and experience of others, new perspectives open up, strategies become clearer, and you begin to feel empowered to create the life you want.

Balance Is Within Reach

Finding balance after divorce is no small task—but it’s absolutely within reach. By recognizing what’s missing, challenging the myths that have held you back, and taking small, intentional steps, you can begin to create the space for balance in your life. It’s about more than just managing your time; it’s about reconnecting with who you are, prioritizing what truly matters, and surrounding yourself with the kind of support that makes the journey a little lighter.

Remember, balance doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s a process—one that ebbs and flows, requiring both flexibility and patience. Some days will feel easier than others, and that’s okay. The important thing is to keep moving forward, even if the steps are small. And most importantly, you don’t have to do it alone.

If you’re ready to start reclaiming your balance and designing the life you truly want, we invite you to join us at The Year You Want workshop this January. It’s your opportunity to step away from the everyday grind, reconnect with yourself, and create a vision for the year ahead in the company of inspiring, like-minded women. Together, we’ll create a path that reflects your authentic self and helps you find the balance and fulfillment you deserve.

Take that first step toward your next chapter by reserving your spot at The Year You Want workshop. We can’t wait to welcome you into the space we’ve created just for you.